Day 2 (part 2)

“Thus meditating you will no longer strive to build yourself up in your prejudices, but, forgetting self, you will remember only that you are seeking the Truth.”

~James Allen










This evening I ran home from the University of Washington, 13 miles. It was the same 13 miles I have been running, back and forth, during my little, personal experiment. This morning I ran the opposite way, in the partial rain and dark, and felt wonderful. I had the best run of the week, so far. This evening, on the same route, physically feeling great, I had the hardest, the most difficult run of the week. How can it change so drastically?

Right before I ran I finished my day with a meeting with the Boss. It was a meeting of brutal honesty (on my part, as usual) about the state of affairs. It was long overdue, and was met with the usual almost indifferent sort of denial I have come to love and expect. As a result, my mood was not optimal for setting out on my 13 miles to get home.

What a difference a mood makes.

It was beautiful outside. I didn't notice.

The sun was bright, and the air was still. I didn't notice.

I did notice how crowded the trail was, but usually only when I had to avoid people at the last minute, because most of the time--I didn't notice them.

I was very deep in thought, mostly negative, about "things" and it translated into feeling negative about my little running obsession.

"Just pack it in." The thoughts said.
"Just stop, walk up the hill, and catch the bus."
"Why are you wasting all this time? It's not worth it."

It is this time when I realize just how crucial experience is. If you can complete your training on the hardest days, you can definitely do it on the easy days. Today was just another hard day. If you have never had this experience, and conquered the voices, you may not understand. As often as you can experience this, the better, because some day, maybe in a race where you have some very important goals, you will have a hard day. Regardless of how ready you are... can you silence the voices, then?

I decided not to stop at halfway, this time. I had conquered the voices, the demons were behind me. I achieved singularity and was settled into a painfully slow jog. There is no pain when I run, just the invisible wind, pushing against me. I realized I truly feel sorry for people who need music in order to run, because I feel like they are missing out on one of the very best lessons running has to offer. The music prevents the runner from having to achieve a "singular" state of mind. Music becomes a distraction FROM running, which, in my own stupid opinion, takes away more than half of the reason runners run. And I am sorry to those of you reading who feel like you need music, I am not trying to be insulting or condescending. Truly. It is only my experience speaking, and that experience is one of achieving a truly, perfectly engaged state of being with my body in space; singularity. In this place, mentally and physically, I can carry on. For just how long, I don't know, because to date I have never stopped.

I arrived home 2 hours after I started running. My legs were tired, but felt good. They still do. I am having some toe issues, and I think 8 of my 10 toenails are doomed in the next week. I have a little chaffing, but I have a good sponsor that should help with that.

Its time for bed. I need to put this one behind me. Thanks for tagging along again.