Achieving the Unachievable

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."
~Albert Einstein

"Winners compare their achievements with their goals, while losers compare their achievements with those of other people."
~Nido Qubein

I set out to win every race I enter. I tell myself this is not realistic, but I never start any race thinking I am racing for 2nd.

I want to create the best treatment for cancer, a treatment that saves lives and does not ruin the patient's life in the process. Hell, I want to be the person who cures cancer. I tell myself this is not realistic, but every day I get to go to work is a new opportunity to try. And I do.


You are too ambitious.

Why do you train so hard? You can't win.

Your expectations are unrealistic.

You are setting yourself up for failure.

Your enthusiasm is only because you are new to the field.

You work too hard, it's just a job.


These are the things I hear almost every day of my life, meant to stifle me down into the ever thickening vignette of mediocrity at the bottom of the picture of success. Most people would probably never believe that these are the types of things I used to say to myself. I punished myself with these thoughts constantly until my twenties, when the switch flipped during a 6 month stint of therapy. Back then the world was more than happy to sing the song of doom along with me. Come--join everyone else in the fulfillment of low expectations, and collect your award.

Begin digression.

I was laying in the gurney, and the back of the ambulance opened. The jarring motion of being lifted out of the ambulance and onto the ground. My family around me, now, looking panicked and scared. Everything hurts, the world is a bit distorted. I saw them, and I understood the reason behind the fear in their eyes, but something in me remained calm. I knew it was going to be okay, for some reason. Maybe, in retrospect, it was ignorance that kept me calm. At 18 years and 11 months, we do not often understand the nature of our experiences as we have them, hence so many young people kill themselves doing what appears to more mature individuals as "stupid shit".

I had tried to insert a waterski into the back of my head and instead crushed a 3 inch crater of my skull into about 6 fragments, some of which were pushed into my brain. Later I would discover I had bruised my brain, and was about 3 mm from paralysis or death. Everyone stood around, nervously, listening to the neurosurgeon. The next day I emerged victorious (albeit in extraordinary pain) from surgery, and here I am, 15 years later, alive and well.

Why do I bring up this story?

That event could have stopped me cold in my tracks. It could have killed me. It could have prevented me, physically, from being able to do the acivities I enjoy. Or, it might have scared me into a shell of fear where from the ambitions of life I could hide. And, probably, few people would have really questioned this. After all, I had a blind spot in the center of my vision as a result of the trauma to my brain which forced me to read (words and music) differently. I had every excuse to live a much easier, simpler life.

The bar I set for myself is unmistakably, unequivocally ridiculous. How many humans are happy with what I consider to be "just getting by"? How did I become this way? I don't think I am better than anyone. Not at all. What is it, then? These days, I feel sorry for those people, big and small, red, white blue and black, who fail to recognize their own potential for greatness. And believe me, greatness has nothing at all to do with being a pharmacokineticist or a musician or a fly fisherman or a triathlete. It has nothing to do with what other people see in you, however, when you realize your potential engaging in your chosen endeavor, your luminescence is clearly visible.

How do you know when you have realized your potential?
You can see greatness because of the sudden, complete stratification of your peers. There is precipitation into one of three clusters:

1) Envy - "Meh. It's not so great." The most common reaction to success, I believe, is negativity.

2) Agnosticism - "What success?" It is easier to close ones eyes than to see and acknowledge the successes of others. In many ways it is similar to 1 above.

3) Pride - It is a rare individual who can share in the successes, as well as the failures, of others. The people who stand with you in victory are often great, as well.


And so here I go, with yet another unrealistic expectation: Qualify at Ironman Canada, this August, for the Ironman World Championship. The vocal opposition is loud and clear. I hear you, but I don't care.

After, on August 27th, many people will say "I told you so."

Some will say "That's too bad."


As for Me?
I will say "I did it."